Sunday, July 15, 2007

The Worst Song of the Year*

(*relative to artist expectations.)

Close the polls! Thanks for playing! All you other artists with records coming out in the last months of '07, relax a bit. Because there is no way any track could suck harder than the steamy pile of po(o)p that indie mainstays Rilo Kiley shat into the airwaves recently. This is a band that--because of its adorable lead singer, catchy indie-pop delivery, and "Ronnie-fuckin'-Pinsky-from-Salute-Your-Shorts" on guitar--has become one of the most well-known non-radio acts of the decade. Honestly I'm not a huge fan. I don't have any of their records, but I know a few songs and they're alright. I see the appeal and, certainly, consider them a viable indie act.

But, alas, things have gone sour. I have no evidence of that beyond the atrocious new single "Moneymaker", but frankly this is almost irredeemable. Even if the rest of the album was Pet Sounds, "Moneymaker" is all manure.

Is it the porn-star-studded video (an element apparently beloved by MTV audiences, as evinced by the likes of cock rockers Kid Rock, Lit, or even MTV-era Blink), the lyrics that are about on par with the Milkshake song, or the Maroon 5 guitar licks that bring this song to the forefront of modern sucksmanship? At least that much. You decide:

And of course the lyrics:

You've got the money maker
You've got the money maker
This is your chance to make it
Out out out oh yeah
Youll get out out out oh yeah

Youve got the money maker
They showed the money to you
You showed them what you can do
Showed them your money
Make you get out out out oh yeah
Youll get out out out oh yeah

You are the money maker
She wants to overtake you
You know you wanna make her
Show her your money maker
She said out out out oh yeah
She said out out out oh yeah
You get out out out oh yeah
You get out out out oh yeah

And deep in my hands
I will if you want me to

She is out out out oh yeah
She is out out out oh yeah
You get out out out oh yeah
You get out out out oh yeah

So congratulations to Jenny, Blake and company. And thanks for the laughs.


Unknown said...

Wow. What happened to Rilo Kiley? They're on the cover of the new issue of Filter, and the interview made me kind of raise an eyebrow in regards to the new album. Guess my thinking was right. It's almost like they decided to purposely suck so that they'd have an excuse to just stay solo. I don't know, maybe I'm being too mean. I guess it's not terrible, I might grow to like it, I admit that I do enjoy some songs with even less depth than that...but I guess I just expected more from Rilo Kiley.

Anonymous said...

In defense of Kelis, "Milkshake" birthed a brilliant piece of pop-culture slang. It's... not looking good for Rilo Kiley in that department, though.

I feel the same way about them: Lukewarm at best.

Thomas said...

Haha this song sounds like the Kings of Leon met up with Gwen Stefani at a bar and got her drunk, then she went home and pooped on their face.

Way to go Rilo.

George said...

HAHAHA thomas...

Yeah Patrick, at least something came of Milkshake. For better or for worse.